I am not sure how to begin this blog post. I guess I should start by apologizing for not blogging in a few days. I know I am slightly behind on my Oct Photo Challenge. I’ve been in a weird place the past week or so and to be frank, knowing my blog was safely tucked away on the internet made me feel so secure I didn’t want to touch it.
You see… (ugh I’m having a tough time just putting this into words…) my computer crashed Monday morning. And by crashed I mean it did not turn on. This computer is my work computer which I have been using for personal use. Because it was a brand new computer, I hadn’t backed up my work or personal files since March. I’m sure at this point you can just imagine where this story is going. Anyway, we got an IT guy to come to see if he could fix my computer or at least retrieve my data. Unfortunately he could not. Which means everything is gone. My 40 page word document of quotes – gone. My 800+ pictures I’ve taken since April – gone. My excel spreadsheet with all my expenses – gone. All the work documents I have created since I started working at my current company – gone. When the IT guy delivered the news my mind could’t even wrap around what he was saying. I sat at my desk, and knew I had to get out of there. So i took a sick day, went to my parents house, and spent the day trying to not wallow in my misery.
It’s amazing how deep the sense of loss can be. Whether it’s a person, a relationship, or a thing, it really hits hard. And it’s difficult to remain open to life when all one wants to do is retract and stay small. I am lucky I have such supportive parents nearby that not only soothe my grieving heart but also remind me the importance of not sticking to the drama of the loss.
I simply can’t get over how important those files and pictures were to me. I have some great posts developing in my head around loss and defining ourselves but right now I need to just sit and be with my feelings. I will be blogging very soon about it all. I just wanted to give you all a heads up to my slight disappearance. I have not forgotten about you all!
Namaste.
October 20th, 2011 at 11:17 am
Oh dear, sorry for the loss!!! I feel for you!
October 20th, 2011 at 11:33 am
hugs T….. is the IT guy sure that is correct? we had a similar problem at my house in the pre-all apple days. had a tech guy give us a new hard drive and he was able to transfer all the old files to the new HD. don't give up without really pushing to have a second opinion. xo
October 20th, 2011 at 7:26 pm
Oh little mama, tech problems are the worst because we feel so helpless! I second Flying Yogini's comment – it may be worth a second opinion before you truly "let go."
October 21st, 2011 at 1:35 am
Oh, that is so frustrating! I do think you need to speak with someone more knowledgable, though. The data is still there, you just need someone who knows how to retrieve it for you. Best wishes!
October 21st, 2011 at 2:18 am
You can be the most yogic person on the planet, but losing a collection of photos, essays, and other personal mementos still stings, and you're allowed to grieve for its loss. I have never experienced a technological loss that monumental, but one of my e-mail accounts from back in college was trashed without warning, and with it I lost hundreds of really personal, essay-length messages between myself and someone very important in my life at that time. I had already lost this person once, and losing that e-mail record of everything that had transpired between us was another blow to my heart. I grieved as though I had lost a friend, but eventually life went on and I accepted the loss as the final goodbye.Please don't think of yourself as a bad person for being upset/frustrated/angry/withdrawn. Whether we like it or not, technology has become an integral part of our lives, and losing a portion of it can leave a hole in your heart. A day off to wallow sounds perfectly acceptable to me!
October 21st, 2011 at 12:36 pm
Oh, I am so sorry, that is so much to process! I would get a second opinion, too. Breathe and let your pooch give you lots of hugs and kisses : )
October 23rd, 2011 at 7:32 am
we all have those days… the verge of tears, the frustration that we can hardly handle.. but the best part of having the melt down is when it's over and you remember that it's all ok. that life keeps going.. hugs and loves sunshine, you are amazing
October 23rd, 2011 at 8:47 pm
So sorry to hear! The pictures may be gone, but the memories certainly are not.
October 24th, 2011 at 3:20 pm
Most IT geeks don't know how to recover data. There are specialized "disk doctors" who really know what they're doing. They can be pricey but they get the job done.Going forward, subscribe to Carbonite.com. The best $50 you'll ever spend. I listen to a tech show that offers you a good discount. Use the discount code TWIG. (This is not a shill; I'm not affiliated with Carbonite, just a very happy customer.)
October 24th, 2011 at 11:49 pm
Are you sure it can't be recovered? I am no computer expert, but nothing is really lost *forever*. Get a 2nd opinion!!