Many of you know I moved a few weeks ago. What many of you may NOT know is that my new place of residence does not have internet. When I moved in I knew I had the option to pay $20 for internet but I decided I wanted to see what it would be like to not have it. Plus, with my 25 Days of Christmas yogathon, I figured I would barely miss it.
You see, I work a desk job and am connected to the web everyday for at least 8 hours a day. After work if I’m not at yoga or meeting with a friend, I am at home on my computer either blogging, twittering, pinning, stumbling, or surfing the web. I love being online and this time last year I felt a salvation from my depressing existence by connecting with people via the web.
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| missing London town |
However, I am much stronger than I was this time last year. I figured I could manage being without intent a few hours a day. Plus I have access to the web on my phone so I could still be somewhat connected.
Well it’s been about 18 days and here’s what I realized – I have a lot more TIME. Since I cannot rush online as soon as I am home, I have space in my life. I journal. I write. I read. I meditate. I’m thinking of taking up knitting. I even RAN for the first time since April the other day. Basically, I have a lot less distractions from being with my feelings.
In ways this is a marvelous thing. I have time to decompress! But I noticed I’m also bingeing more. I didn’t realize there was a connection there until the other night when I came home and realized I have a fear of this space of time where I have nothing to keep me from myself. All this thinking and being is a bit scary! I’ve gotten so used to being too busy to think that now I find myself bingeing to try to comfort myself and numb out.
Instead of running to Verizon Wireless and setting up my internet, I think I am going to stick with this discomfort. How can we transform if we do not venture outside of our comfort zone? I will let you all know how I progress.
So I apologize now to all the blogs that I love to read so much and haven’t been able to. I haven’t forgotten about you all I promise!
((on a complete side note – I HAVE to give a shout out to a fellow blogger Diane from Simply Freckled. I practically devoured her posts in love-lust and can’t get enough. I think I met my blog soul mate. I never blog shot out so you know this is a big deal – GO CHECK HER OUT))
December 28th, 2011 at 6:35 pm
Hey Teeg! Thanks for the shout out, you are amazing. I think there is something to be said about being out of your comfort zone, but it is also totally cool to enjoy your comfort zone, snuggle in and savor the comfort. Finding comfort is a sign of contentment to some degree. So enjoy your time away from all the blogging and interneting, but remember…these are things you love to do so tap back in soon! lolExcited to hear more about your journey, xoxo!Dianehttp://simply-freckled.blogspot.com
December 28th, 2011 at 10:50 pm
i know exactly what you're talking about! i still have the internet but having so much free time in an empty house was always a little anxiety inducing. luckily though, i took up things outside of the screen to help ease the tension. crocheting, reading, writing, photography…basically everything you have listed there! i find that doing something with the hands is very soothing. bingeing has staved off for weeks now! i'm going to guess the newness of change has your emotions all heightened. but they'll settle eventually and i feel like bingeing will becoming easier to manage. i wish you the best of luck on your internet-less journey!
December 29th, 2011 at 2:33 pm
Greetings, Teeg! Good post! I sometimes just shutdown the laptop and step away for a while. I mentor young people and am connected to so, so many mostly through Facebook. It's a tool of my work, and I am able to monitor them and communicate this way, but am realizing that I don't have to be so connected ALL of the time! The world won't end, lol. And most that are close to me have my cell number which I have with me almost 24/7. Question for you: Have you ever tried fasting from food? There is much to be said for this practice, if it's just one 24 hour period per week. Better, and worth a try, is to go at least a week on just water. May seem scary, but it can be amazing! After 2-3 days the hunger goes away, and before that, it's not constant – usually comes in waves, especially around the time of day one is used to eating. As the days go by, one can experience more clarity of thought, energy and sometimes spiritual-like calmness. And, pounds will come off too. But, importantly, it gives the body a chance to heal itself, cleanse, and the digestive organs get a rest. Having issues with food, this may also lend to insight into that part of your life. I say, "give it a try". Heck, be something new to blog about: your experience on a 7-day fast. Namaste! ~ Ricky
December 29th, 2011 at 2:45 pm
What a courageous act!! It is so easy to just keep things the way they are…I wish you great discoveries in this journey you took…Namaste
December 30th, 2011 at 3:39 am
Great insight Ricky! It is a tough realization that disconnecting every once in awhile doesn't mean you're not still being present…in fact it makes you MORE present when you do "plug back in"!I love your suggestion to fast. It might seem counter-intuitive Thais, but I think it could be worth a shot as it gives you the time and clarity to re-examine the complex relationship you (and I!) have with food.I am going to implement this weekly one day a week fast in the New year (starting with liquids – miso soup and diluted fruit juice) and see how it goes!
December 30th, 2011 at 8:16 pm
I'm sitting in my discomfort sans consistent internet, as well. I wish you luck on yours and I'll be interested in reading your experience as you continue along.My laptop is more reliably unusable than usable. The kicker is that my cell phone went for a swim in salt water & while I'm trying everything, it's looking like I may be phone-free for a month. That's discomfort for me. Not only without internet access, but also not being able to check my schedule, text or call people at ease, look up directions!!! Why, it's like I used to live. I don't know how I managed. Ha!Now, I'm debating about approaching the whole thing as a mindfulness experiment. But, can I keep up my blog without my phone? I don't know. There's always a panicked-trip to the store if I start getting the shakes