I am feeling a huge incongruence in my life.
I write words of inspiration and surround myself with positivity through books, dharma talks and people. Yet the past few weeks my mind has been a breeding ground for negativity. I strive to live up to my words yet find myself falling short, berating myself for it, and feeling judged from those who see both realities.
It gets even more complicated. Lately I have been suffering extreme angst and anxiety on most nights, feeling like my world is literally falling apart before my eyes. But when I get into my car in the morning heading to work, I feel alive with hope and faith in the Universe. It’s a scary difference in mood and thought.
These misalignments are screwing with my brain and confusing the heck out of the people around me. But ultimately, I must be honest and open with myself and others rather than hide in shame and embarrassment about my swings.
So guys, this is where I am right now. And even though it may appear to me that there is something “wrong” with me, I have to accept that this is simply my current reality. There is no such ting as being “bad” or “wrong”. All is ok because all is what is. It’s only by accepting and breathing into my broken parts that I can become whole again.
Accepting is my true yoga practice.
Already, just by admitting my darkness, I am feeling lighter. Funny how that happens.
Namaste.
I love our Skype dates and today’s was so intuitively timed…thank you for sharing your vulnerability and allowing me to shine the light of love onto your dark spaces! Keep up with that beautiful compassion and acceptance and trust that you WILL shift!
Thank you for this! It is ok…and I’m sure most if not all of us can relate.
Perhaps a winnowing, with resistance from the ego. As you say, just go with it and welcome the Teeg at the other end :0)
Oh, how I can relate! I have had similar panic/anxiety attacks at night over the past couple of years, not always, but regardless in the morning, I feel renewed (though sleepy!) and optimistic again
Obviously it’s important to pay attention to your feelings and what is causing your anxiety at night… just feel the feelings and like you did, express them! all the best to you xx
so glad to hear that I am not alone! <3